Muslim On The Spectrum

People think I'm so clever because I master all these trades and things and interests.  Part of it is my special interests like with gardening but a lot of it is that I don't trust others to do things. It comes from a place of anxiety. I don't feel I can trust others or they won't do things the way I would hope for. It's actually debilitating because I rely on me and its a truama response. Not feeling safe and not being able to trust or rely on others because for years your needs were unmet in this sometimes cruel world.

I'm really struggling over the last week because Ramadan ended and eid came along and everything was unpredictable.  Routines need to revert back to pre Ramadan routine and that's always a struggle as well as dealing with the micro changes.  At this point my parents, whom I live with, decided to have some plastering done in my daughters bedroom so all her things are in my Mum's room and she has moved to the front room in the house.  She asked about a million questions about it all, when was he coming, when will he finish, when will it dry, will she have a new carpet, when will it be painted.  Which rooms will he go in and how and where will he mix his plaster?   I'm totally exhausted the anxiety of the building work and dealing with unpredictable tradesmen has just wiped me out.  He is doing the bathroom too so sink has been removed I need to find my tooth brush from the stuff moved to my mums room.  I figured I will never redecorate ever again.  The decorating bit is f