Muslim On The Spectrum

I'm really struggling over the last week because Ramadan ended and eid came along and everything was unpredictable.  Routines need to revert back to pre Ramadan routine and that's always a struggle as well as dealing with the micro changes.  At this point my parents, whom I live with, decided to have some plastering done in my daughters bedroom so all her things are in my Mum's room and she has moved to the front room in the house.  She asked about a million questions about it all, when was he coming, when will he finish, when will it dry, will she have a new carpet, when will it be painted.  Which rooms will he go in and how and where will he mix his plaster?   I'm totally exhausted the anxiety of the building work and dealing with unpredictable tradesmen has just wiped me out.  He is doing the bathroom too so sink has been removed I need to find my tooth brush from the stuff moved to my mums room.  I figured I will never redecorate ever again.  The decorating bit is f

I normally have bouts of energy then burn out and when I'm in burn out I need to be left alone.  I do the minimum to cook and to wash clothes and that's about it. I've reached a mini burn out today.  Trying to get some rest but my mum keeps telling me all these different things.  I can't just ignore her I have sensitive hearing I will pick up and listen to what is being said then my mind thinks about it.  I've tried not to respond but she just won't give up and then when I reach tipping point and explode people view me as the bad person. The angry person. The unkind person.  I'm not any of those things I'm just trying to recover and take care of my own needs for the day.  That's all.

One of the reasons I have such a hard time explaining my needs is because it sounds like I'm making stuff up.  Like I can do super complicated things in fact my family rely on my precision and eye for detail to get them help in difficult situations.  But my issue is the small stuff.  The mundane stuff is so complicated for me. My needs are also not static and I can do something one day and I can struggle with it the next.  Like when i posted about going to Wilko and feeling over whelmed by the NSPCC stand well I went to Wilko today and I felt very relaxed and I was smiling and engaging with everyone.  I went to a few shops and stopped to chat with cashiers in Iceland and in Poundland. So there you go and what was different? Well, I had a long bath before I went out with loads of Epson salts. I have a 5 kg bucket of the salts.  I think these should be on prescription if they have this effect. It is the Easter holidays and that's always stressful because kids won't want to go

It the belief that there are various parts of you that intersect.  So if you are BAME and neuro diverse your experience is very different to someone not BAME and neuro diverse.  If you are a woman on the spectrum that's different to the experiences of men on the spectrum.  I have thought about these things in isolation of each other but never put them all together.  So I am a Muslim BAME neuro diverse female. I don't know if I have understood it correctly.  I'm off to learn a bit more about it and maybe do a follow up post.  https://youtu.be/akOe5-UsQ2o

I recently did an NCFE level two course in understanding Autism.  I did it to get a formal recognition of my informal learning around the topic. I don't endorse the course but that requires another post.  The only thing that I learnt was that I have difficulties with the concept of time. I'm not sure if the is an ADHD trait too but I feel like a longtime has passed when in fact it's only a short while has.  Like I created this blog on the 8th April 2022 and I was thinking I haven't posted in ages and I should post but I haven't found the spoons needed (look up spoon theory). Today I've already posted two posts but then I realised its the 16th today so it's only been a week I was convinced it was a month ago. So I guess some people have a slower response where it takes them longer to complete a task because of their concept of time but for me I'm like sonic dash.  Even my ex husband said it would take him a week to do what I do in a day.  It's a bless

I was talking about my children to someone I didn't know.  Later I told her they were teens and she said the way I talked about them she thought they were much younger. Later I thought about it.  Thing is as neurotypical kids grow up they require less support but as neuro divergent children mature they need more assistance.  The demands on them get more intense.  Secondary school, socialising, puberty, hormones it can be a lot to handle.  The need to be on time or a detention, hand in homework or a detention, remember your book or???  You guessed it, a detention!   These things are difficult when you have executive dysfunction which is a big part of being Autistic. I'm trying to manage their stuff and then my own stuff. I'm often burnt out. Like chargrilled burned out! I will admit I've been so burnt out I've cried from the pain of just moving.  I've come to realise as they get older their needs will increase. The depression and anxiety gets more as they are req