Muslim On The Spectrum

I normally have bouts of energy then burn out and when I'm in burn out I need to be left alone.  I do the minimum to cook and to wash clothes and that's about it. I've reached a mini burn out today.  Trying to get some rest but my mum keeps telling me all these different things.  I can't just ignore her I have sensitive hearing I will pick up and listen to what is being said then my mind thinks about it.  I've tried not to respond but she just won't give up and then when I reach tipping point and explode people view me as the bad person. The angry person. The unkind person.  I'm not any of those things I'm just trying to recover and take care of my own needs for the day.  That's all.

One of the reasons I have such a hard time explaining my needs is because it sounds like I'm making stuff up.  Like I can do super complicated things in fact my family rely on my precision and eye for detail to get them help in difficult situations.  But my issue is the small stuff.  The mundane stuff is so complicated for me. My needs are also not static and I can do something one day and I can struggle with it the next.  Like when i posted about going to Wilko and feeling over whelmed by the NSPCC stand well I went to Wilko today and I felt very relaxed and I was smiling and engaging with everyone.  I went to a few shops and stopped to chat with cashiers in Iceland and in Poundland. So there you go and what was different? Well, I had a long bath before I went out with loads of Epson salts. I have a 5 kg bucket of the salts.  I think these should be on prescription if they have this effect. It is the Easter holidays and that's always stressful because kids won't want to go

It the belief that there are various parts of you that intersect.  So if you are BAME and neuro diverse your experience is very different to someone not BAME and neuro diverse.  If you are a woman on the spectrum that's different to the experiences of men on the spectrum.  I have thought about these things in isolation of each other but never put them all together.  So I am a Muslim BAME neuro diverse female. I don't know if I have understood it correctly.  I'm off to learn a bit more about it and maybe do a follow up post.  https://youtu.be/akOe5-UsQ2o

I recently did an NCFE level two course in understanding Autism.  I did it to get a formal recognition of my informal learning around the topic. I don't endorse the course but that requires another post.  The only thing that I learnt was that I have difficulties with the concept of time. I'm not sure if the is an ADHD trait too but I feel like a longtime has passed when in fact it's only a short while has.  Like I created this blog on the 8th April 2022 and I was thinking I haven't posted in ages and I should post but I haven't found the spoons needed (look up spoon theory). Today I've already posted two posts but then I realised its the 16th today so it's only been a week I was convinced it was a month ago. So I guess some people have a slower response where it takes them longer to complete a task because of their concept of time but for me I'm like sonic dash.  Even my ex husband said it would take him a week to do what I do in a day.  It's a bless

I was talking about my children to someone I didn't know.  Later I told her they were teens and she said the way I talked about them she thought they were much younger. Later I thought about it.  Thing is as neurotypical kids grow up they require less support but as neuro divergent children mature they need more assistance.  The demands on them get more intense.  Secondary school, socialising, puberty, hormones it can be a lot to handle.  The need to be on time or a detention, hand in homework or a detention, remember your book or???  You guessed it, a detention!   These things are difficult when you have executive dysfunction which is a big part of being Autistic. I'm trying to manage their stuff and then my own stuff. I'm often burnt out. Like chargrilled burned out! I will admit I've been so burnt out I've cried from the pain of just moving.  I've come to realise as they get older their needs will increase. The depression and anxiety gets more as they are req

 I've been in quite a bit of a shut down such that I had to force myself to get to wilko because of something I needed urgently. As I was approaching totally over wealmed the nscpcc stand was outside and the woman tried to engage with me.  I felt awful but I didn't have the capacity to engage with her so I said something like no thanks.  I sensed her disapproval at me for turning by back on her going into the store.  I felt like she must have judged me and what others think of me is always important to me for some reason. Maybe she thought I was a bad person but I've volunteered with nspcc and I'm waiting to complete the training for the role.  But she wouldn't know that she just saw someone not bothered by what she had to say or the cause she represents. In islam there is a beautiful principle that you should give your brother or sister 70 excuses before assuming something. I wish people could give me just one, the benefit of the doubt. The charity appeals are in f

 Salaam and peace to you all, I have created the blog to really be able to pen down my thoughts and give my perspective as a Muslim woman on the spectrum. I believe that within the neuro diverse community the voices of Muslim women are few and far between.  If you really search you will find them but they are not mainstream.  Do a google search or a youtube search for information on autism and you will find very few faces that are BAME and even fewer from the Muslim community.  So I realised I wanted someone to create a space for autistic Muslims but I was waiting for someone else to do it.   So what makes autistic Muslims unique?  There are lots of struggles with faith and culture that are not necessarily represented by the mainstream neuro diverse community and there are struggles that are unique to my faith that other autistic Muslims will connect with.   As part of being a Muslim it is part of my faith to pray five times a day and this is a fundamental part of the faith.  For years